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SoCoder -> Blogs Home -> Blogs


 
Kuron
Created : 22 October 2021
Edited : 02 November 2021

Kuron's New Life



I thought I would kinda blog about starting over in the wake of losing Carolyn...

Some news to share. My application was approved for the apartment and I signed the lease. Not the best, but it is what I can afford. $590 per month and utilities (electric, water and heat and air conditioning) are included. Not a bad size apartment. Just a tad rough area, but beats living homeless.

I was worried about getting approved. Thankfully, I was. There was no plan B or any other option for me.


Bad thing is all 7 of our cats are going to have to be put down.

 

Comments


Friday, 22 October 2021, 21:56
Kuron
I ordered a few things I will need for my new apartment:


Handy little washing machine.

A way to get my groceries home.


Once I am fully moved in, I will have to let the truck go. So, I will be walking everywhere.


Sunday, 24 October 2021, 20:15
Kuron
Spent the better part of the afternoon cleaning the new apartment. Did not get as much done as I hoped as the fridge took longer than I planned. But, got the fridge cleaned, got the air conditioner cleaned, cleaned the cabinets and drawers, and the shelf in the closet and mopped all of the floors. Next time I go, I will need to tackle the stove/oven and bathroom.

I measured for blinds. One from the house here in the living room will fit. Only issue is at the apartment, the outer walls, including around the window is cinder block. Not sure the best way to attach the supports for blinds to cinder block.

I like the apartment. The drawers and cabinets under the counter are brand new, and the front of them is solid untreated pine. They look gorgeous.

Just everything is so different now, but the wound is still fresh.

Live Strong. Act Bold. Be Brave. Nothing's Too Hard To Do. Never Give Up. ALWAYS BELIEVE. -- Warrior


Monday, 25 October 2021, 16:59
Kuron
I made an appointment for Monday morning to take the cats in and have put to sleep.


Monday, 25 October 2021, 18:19
Jayenkai

Tuesday, 26 October 2021, 08:12
Kuron
Two months ago, I ordered this game that sounded cool:

https://smile.amazon.com/gp/product/B088N3WWS9/


Well, among the stuff I will be walking away from are all my dice and even old dice based games... So, I needed some dice for this. I found and ordered these:








Tuesday, 26 October 2021, 08:27
Jayenkai
Love-ly!
Tuesday, 26 October 2021, 17:14
rychan
All about the loves over here also

Keep strong Kuron,

that washing machine looks very cutesy, I'd be interested to know how well it fares, sounds like it'd be handy for travelling also. The dimensions of it on amazon are below.

Package Dimensions ‎12.87 x 12.56 x 5.47 inches
Wednesday, 27 October 2021, 01:45
Kuron
Thank you, Rychan & Jay.

The washing machine came yesterday, but I haven't opened it, but it is little. Since it uses a power adapter and only draws 10 watts, you could likely run it off a battery pack.

But if I can do a few undergarments, or tshirts and around the house I stay in sweat pants or sleep pants which should fit. I am not above washing jeans in the bath tub with a scrub brush. That would leave just taking big towels and bedding to the laundromat (which is very expensive).

I decided to try the washing machine I ordered, but was strongly considering this one as they have been making it with little design changes since the 90s. But something told me to try the one I ordered. At that price, if it lasts a year I have saved a fortune in paying to go get the laundry washed.

I did not get as much done yesterday as I had planned on the apartment, but I got the blinds put up and got the window cleaned on the inside and outside and got the door cleaned inside and outside. I also took over something to put on the fridge and hang on the door. What is on the door, is what Carolyn had bought for the door for this house.

I guess in a way it is good that I have the house here and can cannibalize some things from it for the apartment, like the blinds. Saved a bit of an expense. In fact, I think I will take down the other two sets of blinds here in the living room and take with me and just have for spares if the ones I put up in the apartment break years from now.

Then on the stove, the one in the house is only 10 months old, so the burners and drip pans are in excellent shape. In fact, the drip pans are ceramic covered, so they are easy to keep clean. They will fit on the stove at the apartment.

I am still not sure how I am going to get the mattress over there, but I will somehow. I may go ask the Amish folks down the street if they can help.

I miss Carolyn horribly, I am still not sleeping well and my heart is broken and she took a huge part of my heart with her. Her death has shattered me. I loved her more than anything.

I think that in life we can't let the bad define us, but rather what defines us is how we react to and deal with the bad.

Unfortunately, we live in a world that is diabolically fucked. In just about every aspect of life anymore, you are damned if you do, damned if you don't. The only thing one can possibly do is be true to themselves, their ideals and beliefs. That is what I am trying to do along with honor Carolyn and her wishes and what we had together -- six magical years.


Wednesday, 27 October 2021, 17:39
Kuron
I finished cleaning the apartment today. It is supposed to rain off and on over the next few days, so as the weather cooperates and the truck bed dries out I can start moving some furniture over. But if it is raining, I can pack and sort smaller things here and put them in the back seat and move them over and get things out of our old house (our new house was placed 9 feet in front of our old house and we had been slowly moving things over to the new house).

I met some more of the neighbors today. Good folks and the one guy offered to help me move my mattress next week when I am ready -- so that is a relief.

I feel like the biggest piece of shit though, petting and loving on our cats knowing what Monday holds. Feel like the damn Grim Reaper.


Wednesday, 27 October 2021, 20:16
steve_ancell
Would it be possible to pass the pusses onto someone else instead of doing the down the vet thing?, just a thought matey. Best wishes to you, I know it's hard losing anyone.
Wednesday, 27 October 2021, 22:39
Kuron
It would be easy if I still lived in Maryland, there was an awesome no kill shelter where I adopted a cat from. I still support that place via Amazon Smile. Down here, some areas have no kill shelters but they only accept animals from the county the shelter is in. There are none in my area.

I had a pastor looking down in Nashville and he had no luck.

The vet has been making calls and found somebody willing to take two of them and keep them outside. The problem is with the exception of one of my cats, the other six could not survive outside. And the two this lady wanted, one is terrified to even come out of her kennel.

One of the vets will adopt the one cat we have that would do okay outside, and other than the past 10 months, she has been outside for the rest of the six years and managed to survive and not get eaten by coyotes, while all the rest of the outside cats got killed, except for one who died of bobcat fever.

It is a horrible situation, and I love animals and treasure life. But I know Carolyn would agree we do not want them put outside when we know they would not survive and would get killed. In such case, it is more merciful to put them to sleep. I know their Mommy is making a place for them in Heaven. Financially, it will be over $1,000 to have the six cats put to sleep.

I am trying my best not to wallow in self-pity for two reasons:

1. This is about Carolyn, not me.
2. Millions of families around the world have had to deal with this due to Covid.

That said, it does not mean that it doesn't suck to be Kuron right now.


Thursday, 28 October 2021, 02:28
rockford
Whether the thread is about Carolyn or not, our thoughts are with you right now. You've got to keep living to carry on the loving.



|edit|

Your new home?
> Reveal 🔎
Thursday, 28 October 2021, 19:57
Kuron
@Rockford, thank you and that is a cool home!

Stormed most of the day, but got a short break and took all of the lighting fixtures I had brought home to run through the dishwasher back to the apartment and put new light bulbs up everywhere, including my bug light for outside. I also took some of my clothes over and all of my hangars and hung up my clothes. Have a bunch more to take over, but it is getting to be homey, if that makes sense.

Once I am settled, I will share some pictures. I am doing the best I can. Like I said, there was no plan B. This apartment was my ONLY option. So, I am VERY thankful to have it.

I wanted to get home before it got dark (due to deer), but I got a very late start and took a tad longer there than planned, so it was dark when I left. Then as soon as I got in the truck, the rain was back and horrible. But, I made it home safe and sound. Of course as soon as I got home, it stopped pouring a minute later.

I ordered a backpack to I can take my laptop to the library. I took a chance on this one, the price was right and I was hoping being Lenovo, it may be a bit better than others in the price range. I am impressed and really like it. Good quality and should last. I think most of the bad reviews are because people are trying to overload it with heavy textbooks. For a laptop, mouse and charger it is fine and will last and protect the laptop.


Thursday, 28 October 2021, 20:06
Jayenkai
Sounds like the move is being relatively easy. I'm glad it's not been too much of a struggle. That's the last thing you need, right now.
Thursday, 28 October 2021, 20:17
Kuron
I am not making the progress I would like to. But, I am not sleeping well at all since Carolyn died, and Covid seems to play hell on your lungs, so I am extremely easily winded. But, I can only do the best I can.


Thursday, 28 October 2021, 21:34
Kuron
"Grief is like having a broken rib, no one can see it, you look normal on the outside, but it hurts every time you breathe."


Friday, 29 October 2021, 07:46
Kuron
With no car in the future, will never get to these places again...

Hands down, the BEST pizza in Nashville:

https://www.joeyshouseofpizza.com




Best Italian food around, along with the best burgers:

https://slicelife.com/restaurants/tn/lebanon/37087/gondola-restaurant-lebanon/menu


Our favorite restaurant and the best Mexican food:

https://elreytn.com/documents/ElReyMenu.pdf


View on YouTube



Friday, 29 October 2021, 07:50
rychan
Damn, that pizza looks amazing!

Although missing that stuff sucks, I guess at least there are alternatives to explore in your new area? Failing that, there's always the convenience of ordering directly online if you need to, or work on cooking the equivalents instead.
Friday, 29 October 2021, 07:54
Kuron
In looking around the house today and wishing I had a pantry in the apartment, like the one in the house... It dawned on me, why not take the pantry from the house and put it in the apartment? It is only attached to the wall with a few screws. Might also try and take the nice shelf thing in the hall, which could work in the bathroom.

Might as well take as much of it as I can use.


Friday, 29 October 2021, 08:06
Kuron
@rychan, there is no online ordering around here, nor uber, lyft, delivery, etc. There is a pizza shop in town, but they serve frozen pizzas which are as horrible as it sounds. There is gas station pizza, which is surprisingly not bad.

There are two Mexican restaurants in town (this is tobacco country and Mexicans work the fields), the nice one makes me sick, the other one is just okay, food is mediocre, but if I avoid their salsa, I am usually okay.

Mainly for food is McDonald's (which is nasty), Subway, and Sonic. There is a BBQ place, but I do not really like pork (which is the only type of BBQ in most of Tennessee) and there is a country type restaurant, where even the beef is fresh from the farm, but they are a tad expensive and we have never tried it.

I mainly always worked as a cook, but cooking for one person is something new.


Friday, 29 October 2021, 08:14
rychan
Dang, sounds like it's more out in the sticks than anywhere else. Never heard of gas station pizza, or a chain called Sonic, if I'm ever over in America then I might have to check that out

Now, I'm no cook, but I found batch cooking was really handy for cooking for one, it made things much cheaper and also lessened how often I had to cook main meals as I could easily just reheat for a few days afterwords in the microwave.
Friday, 29 October 2021, 08:31
Kuron
Yeah, that is why I added links for Sonic and the gas station pizza. I think those are both likely American things. Sonic, although a Drive In, does have tables outside to eat at if it is not too hot.

Long ago, I used to do batch cooking and stick everything in the freezer and just take something out. Unfortunately, the fridge/freezer in the apartment is a bit smaller than a normal size one, so space will be at a premium.

I generally only eat one meal a day and a snack or two. I will be much more limited on my shopping choices. There are two small grocery stores in town, but I am used to shopping at Walmart for a lot of things. I am blessed to have about 40 pounds of boneless, skinless chicken breasts in the freezer and some turkey breast tenderloins and some hamburger. We also have a ton of canned goods. So, I should be starting off fairly well stocked.

It rotates around, but the one grocery store in town often has the boneless, skinless chicken breasts for $1.99 a pound, which is a good deal. It is just beef that is really high in this area.

Just adjustments and finding what works best.


Friday, 29 October 2021, 09:10
Jayenkai
Our local Chinese "Dragon Inn" has been a staple since we moved into the village in 1987.
There's actually a couple of other Chinese places in the village, but only Dragon Inn had that super awesome curry sauce.
You could even get their special curry over chips, for just £1, and .. oooh, spicy but also tasty. Gorgeous.
It's really hard to find "just the right" type of curry, and for us, theirs was absolutely spot on.

Any time my sister would come home for a visit, the Chinese knew, because suddenly we ordered twice the curry!
It closed at some point over the past month or so. We're not sure exactly when, or why.
Friday, 29 October 2021, 09:22
Kuron
We had a really nice Chinese place in town. I only like pepper steak, but they had really good food and Carolyn loved it. Unfortunately, the husband died a couple of months ago and the wife and daughters had to close it.

The sauce you mention, finding it just right, was the way it was for me in the Mexican restaurant we liked. I loved their salsa. Could eat bowls of it with chips and it would never bother me. Only Mexican place down here I can say that about. All of their food was good and never bothered me, well except the fajitas, but that is because anytime I eat green bell peppers (which I love) then I have heartburn for two days after. And that is with prescription heart burn medicine and over the counter medicine.

For pizza at home, I am happy to make little mini pizzas using English muffins (which may be called something else in other places).


Friday, 29 October 2021, 09:30
Jayenkai
Mmm. Yeah. I used to do mini-pizzas using Crumpets.
Haven't done that in years.
Friday, 29 October 2021, 09:35
Kuron
Speaking of English Muffins, we have one of these handy breakfast sandwich makers. Way better than McDonald's.


Saturday, 30 October 2021, 02:19
rockford
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.... foood!
Saturday, 30 October 2021, 02:39
Kuron
Friday, the only thing I really accomplished was getting the pantry loose from the wall. It was too rainy to try and move anything to the apartment. Did find my inhaler after looking almost 10 hours for it.

Today, I am going to work on the shelf-thing in the hall and try and get it loose. Maybe take a run to the apartment if it quits raining.

Sunday, I am getting up early and making one last trip to Walmart and get a few more things. If I go when most people are in church, it should not be so busy. Later Sunday afternoon, I will make a run to the apartment.


Saturday, 30 October 2021, 02:53
Pakz
I stil need to start laying the floor in my new home. But As a caretaker I am mostly at my mums place. I did some measuring and one door is to low for the insulation and floor tile to fit.

On food. I really have started paying attention to eating/buying healthy. Apple a day! With people talking about a possible hyper inflation becoming a possibility, I wonder if eating healthy wil stay the norm.
Saturday, 30 October 2021, 03:26
Kuron
I would help you if I could, Pakz. I am good at the home improvement type stuff.


Sunday, 31 October 2021, 22:33
Kuron
Today, I made a run to Walmart to get some things for the apartment and took some things over to the apartment. Then I went back to Walmart, and took some more things to the apartment.

I bought some shelves for over the toilet, and bought some shelves for the closet (since the pantry will not go in there).

I took the pantry over, and I could not maneuver it into the closet, it is too long to swing it around through the door. I put the pantry in the hall, in the corner in front of the bathroom. Leaves room for getting into the bathroom and you would never use that corner for anything else.

Monday after I hope to take the box springs, headboard and maybe one desk over to the apartment and put together the two sets of shelves. If all goes well, on Tuesday I will take over the mattress and start sleeping at the apartment.

Right now, I am trying to find my keys for the old house and the storage lockers. I have been using Carolyn's since she has the truck key on here and seem to have misplaced my keys. Since I can't get into the old house, I had to but two more pet carriers for in the morning.


Monday, 01 November 2021, 06:15
rockford
Can you not dismantle the pantry and re-do it where you need/want it?

Keys eh? They're buggers! They always sprout legs when you're not looking!
Monday, 01 November 2021, 10:34
Kuron
Just got back from the Vets. Gonna miss my cats, loved them dearly. At least the one is going to a good home. The other six, super sad and heartbreaking.

Still no sign of my key, but I did find Carolyn's key to the old house and I have a set of bolt cutters in that house that will cut rebar, so it will be no problem to cut the locks off of the storage lockers and will have to bust the other lock on my one shed.

Gonna go look in the truck to see if I left my keys in there somewhere. Grrr!!


Monday, 01 November 2021, 10:48
Kuron
WooHoo!! Found my keys, they were in the compartment in the center console of the truck.

This stress and not being able to sleep more than 1-2 hours a night is taking a toll. Can't think straight or remember anything.


Monday, 01 November 2021, 11:46
Jayenkai
Maybe something calming to help you sleep?
I often fall asleep listening to https://mynoise.net/
The main issue being that if you have something praying on your mind, the relative quietness of MyNoise doesn't exactly drown out the noise. .. Then you need some good headphones, loud music, and a giant volume dial that goes well beyond eleven!
Tuesday, 02 November 2021, 00:56
Kuron
@Rockford, you really cannot get the pantry apart without destroying it.

@Jay. I do take Melatonin when I go to sleep and use a sound machine that sounds like a babbling brook. Just really stressed and so much on my mind.

I took a few things over to the apartment and I managed to get the headboard over there. The bed will fit where I thought it would and will look good.

I tried to put together the plastic shelves I bought for the closet, but need to bring over a rubber mallet.

I have to be finished moving everything by the end of November, as that is when the tags on the truck expire and I do not want to get ticked and fined, or even arrested.


Tuesday, 02 November 2021, 03:25
Jayenkai
"tags on the truck"
*baffled*

Is that like road tax or something?
Tuesday, 02 November 2021, 05:38
Kuron
Tags aka license plate. Each state has different rules on how often they need to be renewed. Here in TN you renew them yearly. Since the truck is in Carolyn's name, only she can renew it.


Tuesday, 02 November 2021, 06:30
Jayenkai
Oh, so yeah, it'd be like our road tax system.
We used to have a little circular "tax disc" thing that sat in the front windscreen, that you had to renew each year.
I'm "fairly" sure I remember them doing away with physical discs, though? I think it's all automated, nowadays. (Not up on motoring!! Other drivers will no doubt correct me.)

Sounds ludicrously over-expensive having to renew the actual plates each year!!
Tuesday, 02 November 2021, 06:34
rychan
I totally don't remember having to "photoshop" those discs for some people back in the day..... doop dee doop
Tuesday, 02 November 2021, 07:27
steve_ancell
@Jay
We still have to tax our cars manually, either in full or by monthly Direct Debit, it's stored on a database.
Tuesday, 02 November 2021, 08:03
Kuron
Sounds ludicrously over-expensive having to renew the actual plates each year!!


Really depends on the state. When she did the van last month, it was $69. Back in Maryland it would have been several hundred dollars.


Tuesday, 02 November 2021, 08:24
Kuron
Getting a break, nice moving weather coming up...


Tuesday, 02 November 2021, 12:19
Kuron
Strongly considering buying this for getting around, once I am moved.


Tuesday, 02 November 2021, 12:43
Jayenkai
*waves*
Hey, Bike!
Wednesday, 03 November 2021, 04:22
rychan
Ohhh, a friend of mine just bought an electric bike also, just, err, try to keep the battery away from the rain though eh
Wednesday, 03 November 2021, 05:31
Pakz
My mothers friend fell of her electric bike and broke her arm. Those things can be dangerous. But she was in her later 70s.
Thursday, 04 November 2021, 16:23
Kuron
I do not own any firearms and given how sad, lost, alone and depressed I have been today, and not able to stop crying, if I did own a firearm, I would not be here typing this now.

I made two trips to the apartment today. Took more clothes over (may need to buy more hangers) . Almost got the bathroom shelves finished, just two holes were stripped and needed to glue them before I can put screws in, so the glue should be cured tomorrow. Took over some furniture: my roll top desk, a small bookcase and one little cutesy thing that Carolyn and I made. Also took more frozen food over to put in the freezer. Cleaned the vacuum really good and took that over, too.

I should be able to get the majority of my frozen food in the freezer at the apartment. Will not have room for my frozen pizzas and cheese steaks or ice cream. But, all the important stuff fits with a little room for taking all of the butter over. Literally will just make it. I am still going to try and get the bed over there on Saturday, but I need to be there most of the day for a delivery from FedEx.

Friday, I should be going to pick up Shadow's remains and the plaster paw prints of all of the cats.


Thursday, 04 November 2021, 16:33
Jayenkai
Good grief.


Stay safe.
*hugs*
Thursday, 04 November 2021, 16:38
rockford
Do you have any option for counselling Kuron? Perhaps, you really should look into that.

What's a cheese steak? A steak, covered in cheese or... something else? :/
Thursday, 04 November 2021, 16:45
Kuron
Cheese Steak:




Thursday, 04 November 2021, 17:11
Kuron

View on YouTube


Friday, 05 November 2021, 07:58
Kuron
Almost a week's worth of good moving weather. Nothing worse than moving in extreme heat or extreme cold or rain or snow.


Friday, 05 November 2021, 19:15
Kuron
Well, picked up Shadow's remains and the paw prints of all of the cats that were put down. On Gypsy's paw print, they misspelled Gypsy, they spelled it Gipsy. Just push on little plastic letters, debating whether to ask them for a replacement letter "y". Your thoughts? Seriously want feedback on that.

Made two trips to the apartment today. When I put the screw in the one piece where the glue dried, it went crooked and had to reglue it so can't fix that until tomorrow.

I also took over all of the frozen butter, took the one unopened pack of cheese steaks over and took the stuff out of the main package and wedged everything in there. I also took over the bag of frozen biscuits (scones over there I think). The freezer is extremely full. Other than half a bag of steak fingers, I think I got 98% of what needs to go in the freezer at the apartment. Just need to take the stuff from the fridge over.

Saturday morning I need to get over there early, as I am expecting FedEx delivery, ordered some books that due to the weight, cost me almost $850 in shipping. But, all together they weigh just over 200 pounds.

Also went and talked to the insurance agent about Renter's insurance. Will cost me about $230 per year for $20,000 of coverage, with a $1,000 deductible. Will cost a tad more to get a lower deductible. I think I need insurance.

Sunday or Monday I will take the bed over. I think if I use some straps, I should be able to lift the mattress myself. Things will be snug, but homey. I am doing the best I can in the given circumstances.

Hoping Carolyn would be proud of me and approve of the decisions I am making.


Friday, 05 November 2021, 19:33
Jayenkai
If it's wrong, it'll always be wrong, and it'll always annoy you.
I say complain.

Also, if you do decide to move the mattress, do so carefully. Those buggers can be deceptively difficult.
Friday, 05 November 2021, 19:36
Kuron
I am going to miss the white cedar log bed I built. I will have a headboard with a shelf and will just put the box spring on the floor and the mattress on top.




Friday, 05 November 2021, 19:41
Kuron
Also, if you do decide to move the mattress, do so carefully. Those buggers can be deceptively difficult.


Especially when they are a 12 inch thick memory foam mattress. Egads it is heavy. I am slowly getting my strength back, but my lungs are screwed and I get out of breath and panting really easy.

Just with how much we paid for the bed and how much we loved it, I can't see abandoning it and getting a cheapo twin size bed. Might as well save the $$ and use what I have.

Given how unlevel our ground is, my left foot is already really swollen along with the ankle and lower leg. It did the same thing when I was moving stuff into our new house.


Saturday, 06 November 2021, 11:23
rockford
I'd definitley go back and ask for a Y to replace the I. It's not much to ask and it will make a ton of difference. You paid for the service, they got it (slightly) wong, so they should fix it?

BTW that bed frame looks great. Looks like it's lacking a few support bars though (even though I know that the ones there are strong).
Sunday, 07 November 2021, 00:52
Kuron
@rockford The box spring sits on the side rails and the cross pieces, extremely strong and no give. Unfortunately, with the box spring on the frame, with the 12 inch mattress on top, it made the bed too high for Carolyn to get in and out of. It was pulling at her softball-sized hernia.

So, we took the box spring off and stood it on its side against the one wall (so glad we saved it since I now need it). Then I ordered one of these to put on the frame. Then the mattress sits directly on that. Perfect height for Carolyn.

Even before I got the frame together and we just had the box spring on the floor with the mattress on top, it was too high for Carolyn. That cedar log bed frame, besides hammering the pieces together, I also glued them with Ultimate TiteBond glue as we never intended on moving it. You cannot get it apart to move it and you cannot get it out of the door when it is together. Hence why I am leaving it. LOL

I got part of my delivery from FedEx yesterday, should be more coming on Sunday. Not sure when the rest will come. Of course, in typical Kuron Luck™ the books I ordered are too tall to stand on either book case which are pretty normal sized shelves. So the books are laying on their side on the shelves.

I moved the nicer bookcase out of the kitchen and put it in the living room/bedroom and put the crappier one in the kitchen. It is not as high, but it should still hopefully hold the microwave on top.

I got the shelves for the bathroom finished and put over the toilet and attached to the wall. Looks really good.

I also got the pantry properly attached to the wall. I also got the shelves in the closet attached to the wall.

I also on Friday, took over Carolyn's desk and it fits well where I thought it would. Heavy sucker, as it is real wood, oak to be exact. I will use Carolyn's desk for the computers and crafts and my roll top desk for writing and Bible study.

I measured and I can put my one table my parents gave me in the kitchen, it will fit where I want to put it and still let the fridge open. Will work for more counter space for doing food prep, but will also be where I sit and eat, have saddle style stools for it.

Really starting to look good in the apartment and I do like the apartment. The first day I went there, one of the neighbors invited me to church with her and her daughters. Their pastor comes and picks them up for the evening service. I talked to her again yesterday, and told her I will definitely take her up on her offer once I am fully moved in. Just until then, while I am sleeping at the house, I need to be home before dark due to the deer. So, that will be nice. Look forward to going to church and meeting some people. If I do not like that church, there are three in short walking distance and one a tad longer walk.

The plans Carolyn and I had for our future are gone. Life has drastically changed, but I am starting a new chapter in life and will always treasure and be thankful for the six years I had with Carolyn and I will always honor her and what we had. I am taking several things of hers to remind me of her, so she will always be a part of my daily life. Anywhere I look in the apartment, I will see something of hers or something she gave me as a gift. I want her to always be a part of my life.

I just hope she understands the decisions I am making and is not mad at me for doing what I think is best in this situation.


Sunday, 07 November 2021, 01:18
Kuron
Oh, and thank you for the feedback on Gypsy. The letters are standard black letter beads. I could just order a pack and do it myself. But, one way or the other, it does need to be fixed. I will call the vet on Monday.

As somebody who has a name that almost always gets misspelled I am hypersensitive to a name being spelled wrong. Somewhere Carolyn has some pink round letter beads, but I have not been able to find them, yet.


Sunday, 07 November 2021, 19:43
Kuron
I took some more things over to the apartment today, and got my FedEx delivery. Who knew they delivered on Sunday? Got everything I ordered, except for one CD is missing, will call them on Monday.

I am extremely sore as I had to move that big book case back into the kitchen, as I had measured and the microwave is too big for the smaller bookcase.

Took over more clothes and hung them up. In trying to decide where to put the bath towels, I said the heck with it and hung them on hangers. Lots of room for hanging things, not so much for shelf space.

Ran to Walmart to buy 100 more hangers. Also bought a nice quilt, and another air freshener machine and refills for it. I will keep one in the kitchen and one in the closet. Also bought some black bead letters, so will fix Gipsy Gypsy myself.

Evidently there is a paint shortage, as I tried to buy some spray paint. Bought the last six cans of blue in the store. They only had about 18 cans of any color paint total in the store. Going to paint a few things for the apartment. The irony is the two heart shelves/tables and the big heart mirror and the Love clock that I took over today, I need to bring back home so I can paint them blue.

Since I am going to be going to church with my neighbor, I bought four nice shirts, to wear.

Also a gallon of generic brand bleach that used to be less than $1, is now $4.58 for a gallon. I passed on the bleach. Bought some more food and went back to the apartment and put what I could in there, and brought stuff home and have been doing laundry and dishes.

I guess I will shoot for the kitchen table on Tuesday and get it moved and on Wednesday move my bed and start sleeping in my apartment. Need to take over dishes and the microwave, etc. Bought a new air fryer as we have used the hell out of this one and it is worn out. New one is exactly the same as the old one.

Need to work on getting things from the old house, canned veggies, clothes (hopefully the mice haven't ruined them), etc. And a bunch of other things. Lot of work to do and little time to do it.

Also need to get some pictures of Carolyn from the house, including her one old modeling picture. As a teen, she was a jean model.

So tired, still not sleeping well.

Lots of stray cats around the apartments, so at least I get to see some cats.


Monday, 08 November 2021, 02:21
Jayenkai
That's an awful lot to have done on your own. Well done!
Painting the heart furniture blue?
Monday, 08 November 2021, 05:20
Kuron
Yes, painting the two heart tables blue, along with a big heart mirror and a clock that is made out of the letters L-O-V-E. Looks like the one below, only it is white. I think it will look nice in satin wildflower blue (also below). Only other colors they had were a couple of black cans and a couple of white. I am glad the blue is one I like and the satin will look really nice as you do not want gloss on this kind of stuff.

Carolyn has a small heart rock she found in some gravel when we were out, which I will paint pink. Have enough pink left to do that.

I am going to shoot for moving the mattress on Wednesday. I think if I take a long strap and put it behind my neck so each end of the strap comes down over the front of my shoulders and then put each end of the strap over the mattress somewhat near each end while it is standing on its side, then slide the end of the straps under the mattress and then pull them tight and lift, I should be able to manage carrying the mattress. Once I get it there, I can just slide it off the truck onto its side edge on a couple of dollys and roll it in. Unfortunately with uneven ground and rough grass and dirt, no dollys are rolling on the loading end. LOL

Need to take Carolyn's new computer and monitor I had bought her. I am glad she got to use it for a few months, she loved it. Her old laptop was dated and would choke on playing YT videos due to the new codecs being used and not having hardware support in the CPU for those codecs.

I bought her one of these, but the model I bought her had a Core i3-5005U processor and 2 cores/4 threads. 8GB RAM, 128 GB SSD and I added a second SSD. I bought her a 27 inch Dell Monitor that did 1080p, so everything was nice and big and readable on it for her. She loved this computer and it flew and could easily handle streaming a YT video in 1080p and she would often have 20 tabs open and it would not choke. Also quite, never could hear the fan on it. Until she got the new computer, I do not think she fully believed me that her old one just was not capable of playing YT videos anymore. Also bought her this keyboard which she loved. Very nice to type on.

Her old laptop lasted for years and still does work, although I have had to replace the keyboard twice in six years.

I am going to miss our 33 Mbps (download and upload) connection. I think with the services available in the city, I will have to go with AT&T and be stuck with 3Mbps.






Monday, 08 November 2021, 06:37
Jayenkai
3Mb!?! That's awful! Might as well be on dial-up!
Are there any mobile data plans you could afford?.. And decent wireless signals in the area?
Monday, 08 November 2021, 07:08
Kuron
Well, in Maryland I only had 1.5 Mbps and that was the fastest where I lived unless you went with Cable (Comcast), but they have a data cap for the month which I easily exceeded on a 1.5Mbps connection. Comcast is available in the apartment, but again, data caps. Grrr...

Tested and everybody in the apartments with wifi have it secured. I may just go to the library on weekdays to use the internet for a bit every day.

Cell plans here usually have data caps. Usually the highest are like 10Gb per month.

Need to go to the bank and stick $3,000 in to pay my credit card off and need to go to the insurance place and pay a year in advance. Need to also take Carolyn's clothes to the help center to donate. And take some trash to the dump.


Monday, 08 November 2021, 07:58
rockford
For a country that constantly claims to be the biggest and best at everything, most of it really fucking sucks. In the UK, you'd get compensation if your internet speed was that slow! You can get better than that on a cell phone here and on a plan offering far more than 10GB a month for a very reasonable sum eg GiffGaff -






www.giffgaff.com/sim-only-deals?ggCampaign=PS_G_Brand_Exact_Brand-Pure_Misspells&gclid=Cj0KCQiAsqOMBhDFARIsAFBTN3dduv_Yn-KBhjcPCYnyQUOOu33_FOMPT7JtyDgyxpcb7TBTOxKzTLIaAiatEALw_wcB&gclsrc=aw.ds

Best of luck with everything else though.


|edit|
Jay: Looks like I broke the forum. Again.
Monday, 08 November 2021, 18:44
Kuron
America is basically a corpratocracy due to the lobbying that is allowed. For example in Maryland, in most of the state Comcast was it for cable TV. Competition was NOT allowed and prices were high and quality was bad. I stole cable for years and when I hooked it up I had perfect quality picture. Tried to go legit and Comcast hooked it up and the quality was unwatchable by my standards. In Florida, there is competition and 2 or 3 cable companies to choose from and prices are low and quality is really good. When there is no competition, there is zero incentive to provide good service.

America is best at fucking up everything we touch including other countries and the world.

Today, I went and got my insurance. $20,000 of coverage for $220 for a year. Not bad and at least I am protected.

Went to the bank and put the $$ in and sent off a check to pay off my credit card. Of course, once it is a zero balance I will turn around and order that electric bike, saddle bags and 2 extra batteries. Our house is exactly 8 miles from the apartment, so the bike should be able to get me there and back, in spite of the hills, but I will always carry extra batteries with me.

I can't remember what I took over to the apartment today, but I did take a couple of things. I also brought back the two heart tables, the Love clock and the heart mirror and the heart coat rack and painted those all blue. Used three cans of paint, but brought everything in the house to fully cure before I take it over to the apartment. I think it looks great and I am very happy with them and really love the way they look. With the heart mirror, I did not tape off the mirror portion, but figured when fully cured, I could get that off with a razor blade.

I went back to the apartment and cleaned the headboard and mopped the floor in the bedroom/living room so I can maybe get the bed and microwave and some dishes moved Tuesday. And start sleeping there, will definitely take Shadow's remains with me. If not, will take it over on Wednesday. The headboard has one long shelf that runs the whole width and above that, one small shelf in each corner. Shadow will be on one of the small shelves.

I had put up a new thermometer in the apartment yesterday and with no heat on in the apartment and it getting down to freezing last night, it was only 66F in the apartment when I went in this morning, That is not an unreasonable temp for me, but if I do run the heat, I will not have to run it very much to get it a few degrees warmer.

I also took over two globes (for light fixtures) from the house and put one in the hall and one in the closet. Looks much better and provides better lighting.

I think I will get a bookcase and try and put it in the hall or right before the hall. I really do not feel like dealing with this monster one at the house, so may try one from the storage locker. Although I do really like this oak one at the house. Just being 7 foot tall, it is a bitch to move. The two in the storage locker are darker wood and 7 foot tall too, but they are a hell of a lot closer to the apartment.

When home, I have been doing laundry and dishes.

More tired than a one legged man in an ass kicking contest.

To all of you, you will never know how much your support and friendship mean to me and how much you are helping me through this difficult time. Thank you.


Monday, 08 November 2021, 22:40
rockford
Keep on trucking dude. And don't let the bastards grind you down!
Tuesday, 09 November 2021, 18:47
Kuron
Well, today I took all of the furniture I painted back over, and in taking it in, I dropped the "L" and even though each letter was in its own bag, the "L" got muffed up, so brought it back home to touch up the paint. Managed to move the 7 foot tall oak bookcase by myself. Loaded it on the truck and strapped it down. Got it off and into the apartment. Looks good where I wanted to put it and it matches Carolyn's desk and my roll top desk.

All of the painted furniture looks really good in the apartment. That blue just really looks nice.

Wednesday, when I get up (still not sleeping long) I will start getting together bedding, and other things I need to take over and I need to wash the two blankets on the bed. In the early afternoon when the bed of the truck is dry I will load up the box spring and mattress and the kitchen table and stools and take them over to the house along with the microwave and plates and cookware and bedding and toiletry items and such, And start sleeping at the apartment and working at the house during the day. Have roughly three weeks to get everything done, until the tags on the truck expire.

Once the bed and table are moved, that will be it for furniture and then I can concentrate on sorting things and trying to find some things in the old house. If need be, I can pay for the storage lockers in town for a few more months and take my time looking through them, if I need to.

My lower back is killing me and in spasms. Feels like somebody took several whacks on my lower back with a fungo bat.

Need to take these three houseplants of Carolyn's over to the apartment, too. I will try and keep them alive for as long as I can. Not so great with houseplants, I tend to kill them. Give me a garden outside and I can grow you very productive garden full of veggies. House plants? They do not live long with me caring for them. Makes me feel bad as they are living things and do not want to cause them harm.

On another note, I am getting my strength back, and as to my lungs, still far from normal, but although I do get out of breath at times, I am not panting like I was and only had to use the inhaler twice today.


Wednesday, 10 November 2021, 03:39
Jayenkai
Sounds like carrying around all this furniture is actually doing your health some good. .. maybe not your back, though!
Wednesday, 10 November 2021, 04:00
Kuron
Yeah, it is killing my back and knees, back to using my cane to get around. Cold nights aren't helping and foot and leg are still swollen. But the exercise of carrying shit (which must be done) is helping.

My theory is... I have Kyphosis and due to that, my lungs do not expand fully, so I tend to take shallow breaths on a normal day. I can take deeper breaths, but it is not natural or normal for me and it is something I have to consciously do.

The physical exertion forces you to naturally take deeper breaths which does help the lungs recover after Covid. There are lots of doctors that recommend if you have Covid, lay on your stomach (with a pillow under your waist) for 10-20 minutes and take really deep breaths. The slight angle and deep breaths help any fluid drain from the lungs and the deep breaths help the lungs get used to taking normal breaths.

In my case a normal breath is never normal for other folks, but that bookcase yesterday was heavy and extremely awkward to carry and move and I did it without panting. So definitely making some progress in health recovery. Woohoo!!


Wednesday, 10 November 2021, 14:57
Kuron
Well, got the bed moved. Could not get the mattress myself, flagged down somebody driving by and asked them to help. They did. Then my neighbor at the apartment Jesse James helped me get it off the truck and carry it in my apartment.

Back at the house to get some bedding and other things together to take over. Need to get some toiletry items so I can grab a bath, too. Have to be at the apartment tomorrow for FedEx delivery, so will not be coming to the house until later in the day (if at all).

Got the stand-alone freezer here at the house emptied and unplugged and opened the door and put something under it to tip it back, so any frost build up that melts will not run onto the floor.

Doing a quick load of laundry and working on getting things together. Will be interesting to sleep at the apartment. Same bed, new place.

I do not know if it is a sign I am crazy, or a sign that having lost everything and everyone (Carolyn and the cats), that I am not quite ready to let go yet as I talk to Shadow's box, much as I talked to Shadow when she was alive.

Have some stuffed tater skins in the oven beeping at me.


Wednesday, 10 November 2021, 17:19
Jayenkai
Talking can help. Just be sure not to get too used to doing it
It's good that you appear to have a lot of fairly nice, friendly neighbours around you. That should help quite a bit.
*hugs*
Thursday, 11 November 2021, 10:20
rockford
Things will settle down and get better, but the grieving process can take a while, especially since you've lost so much in a very short space of time.
Thursday, 11 November 2021, 14:52
Kuron
Chaplain at the hospital Carolyn was at called today. There is a fund that will pay for her cremation and will allow me to have her remains. I would keep them on the headboard next to Shadow's remains.

So overjoyed at that news, just the issue will be trying to find a way to go pick them up.

Otherwise, not much accomplished today. Horrible storm coming through but did venture to the house just to use the internet. Glad I did, or I never would have gotten that phone call.

Did get a small load of laundry done. But, ate and will be heading back to the apartment.

Going to paint two more tables and take them over to the apartment. The one neighbor said that you can get good TV reception there, so I will be taking over our two new TVs and bluray players. But need to wait for better weather to paint.

So, good news about Carolyn and makes me unbelievable happy.


Thursday, 11 November 2021, 15:35
Jayenkai
Aww.
Thursday, 11 November 2021, 15:51
rockford
That's awesome news and will take a lot off the pressure off you.


Thursday, 11 November 2021, 18:01
Kuron
Maybe I will actually be able to sleep at night with her here with me. I did find somebody willing to give me a ride.


Friday, 12 November 2021, 09:13
steve_ancell
Big man hugs go out to you mate.
Friday, 12 November 2021, 18:26
Kuron
Thank you Steve and everybody else. You do not know how much that means to me and how treasured and valued you all are. Would not be getting through this without you guys and your support.

Although I made two trips to the house today, not a lot accomplished. First trip I did get a couple of boxes from the old house that we had not brought to the new house yet. Got a couple of my new cameras, but need to find the extra batteries and got a new laptop I have never used. And got some other miscellaneous stuff. Also brought over a bit of my clothes and washed them twice (have to to get the mildew smell out of them).

Saturday I have to be at the apartment for a package that is coming, but will probably get to the house late. Need to get a lot of the kitchen stuff brought over so I can actually cook at the apartment and quit having to go to the house to eat or go out to eat.

When I went over to the old house, we had not been there for a few months due to how hot the summer was. Everything that was all stacked up, was all over the floor. Raccoons and Squirrels had one hell of a party and there are also acorns all over the floor.

For the record acorns hurt almost as bad as Legos when you step on them barefoot.

Still much to do, but working away on it. Looks like the first chance of it being warm enough to paint those other two tables will be next Wednesday.

730pm and heading back to the apartment. So much to do... But time to call it a night and try and sleep. If I can't will work on things at the apartment.


Saturday, 13 November 2021, 02:00
steve_ancell
Racoons LOL. And I thought I had problems whenever baby foxes and cats keep chewing and scratching the corners of my shed.

I've put 4x2 on the corners so they muller those instead of the main parts, now I only have to replace those bits once in a while whenever they look too mullered.
Saturday, 13 November 2021, 03:02
rockford
I know racoons can be a real pest, but I'd definitely be happ with one of those in the neighbourhood. They're soooooo cute!
Saturday, 13 November 2021, 03:11
Jayenkai
Until they scratch your face off!!!
Saturday, 13 November 2021, 09:23
rockford
Yeah, but I wouldn't be getting that close to them.

We have foxes, badgers, deer, squirrels etc. around us, but I don't get gored, prickled, bitten or battered by those either!
Saturday, 13 November 2021, 09:46
Jayenkai
We had squirrels in our loft, at one point.
Noisy buggers.
As far as we can gather, they were up there trying on my sister's old Barbie clothes.
Saturday, 13 November 2021, 11:55
rockford
Yeah, squirrels do that. Weird buggers...
Saturday, 13 November 2021, 18:29
Kuron
Went to the house and started laundry and then went to Walmart, stopped by the house and put a couple of things in to be washed later in the day and then took the Walmart stuff to the apartment. Grabbed a gas station pizza and then went back to the house and have been doing laundry. Also packed up a lot of cooking utensils, a lot of plates, bowls, etc. Still more of both to take another day, as well as packed about half of my pots and pans. Still have food stuff and such to take over.

But still have a ton of stuff to go through here and the old house. Truly wish you guys were here to help. We could knock it out in just one weekend.

Going to try and take over the microwave and toaster oven tonight, as well.

Still not sleeping worth a damn, but when I am up at night I can quietly work on stuff at the apartment. Will be back to the house on Sunday at some point. *sighs*

Making progress though, just need to do more sorting on the apartment end of things.


Saturday, 13 November 2021, 20:55
Kuron
Got everything carried into the apartment in weather that is below freezing. Microwave and boxes of dishes did my back in. With the way I am hurting, really wish I had brought my meds over to the apartment as I could really use my muscle relaxers.


Sunday, 14 November 2021, 02:27
Jayenkai
Eek. Sounds like you had a rough day.
Sunday, 14 November 2021, 07:34
Kuron
I ended up driving back to the house to get my muscle relaxers.

Good news is I finally got a good night sleep. Went to sleep before midnight and woke up at 8:15am.

Yesterday I tried to go to the restaurant right across the street from me again. The first time the burger and fries were awesome and perfect. Yesterday, the fries were cold and the burger was burnt and cold. Ended up just walking out and got the gas station pizza which was superb.


Sunday, 14 November 2021, 08:17
rockford
Could you not have complained?

BTW Glad you managed to sleep - a good night makes all the difference
Sunday, 14 November 2021, 16:12
Kuron
I told them why I was leaving.

Never send food back at a restaurant as there is a good chance they will do something to it. Besides, if they can't get it right the first time, the same cook is not going to get it right the second time.

Got several things brought over from the old house to the new house, and need to sort and wash some of it, but fixing to leave for the apartment before too long, so did not get as much accomplished today as I hoped.

The old house is just a mess and I cannot get to some of the things that I want to get, like my guitars, keyboards, new TVs, etc. Can't even find the box of CDs and Books I ordered last November and really upset about that. Grrr...

Also, probably will never find my wedding ring or ring with my daughter's birthstone. *Major Sadz*


Monday, 15 November 2021, 20:09
Kuron
Okay... Made three trips to the house and back today. Brought all of the clothes I have bought since being in TN from the old house to the new house so I can wash them before bringing them to the apartment. Also brought over all of the food from the fridge, just left some sodas.

I still need to get to the clothes I brought from Maryland, as I have some jackets and sweaters if the mice did not get to them. So much more to do, but it does feel like I am making progress. I will not be done by the end of the month, but will be done by the end of December. After that, I can start on the storage lockers.

I found where Carolyn had put ABBA's remains and brought her and Peter's remains to the apartment. Also brought over the kitchen table and stools and they fit perfectly in the kitchen.

Hungry, all I had today was something tortilla chips and salsa -- the best store bought salsa I have ever had. I think I might make some shit on a shingle to eat. I need something warm, it was chilly all day.


Tuesday, 16 November 2021, 09:49
Kuron
One month anniversary of Carolyn's death. Rough fucking day and it is not even 11am yet.


Tuesday, 16 November 2021, 09:53
Jayenkai
*hugs*
Tuesday, 16 November 2021, 13:47
rockford
I dread to think what Christmas will be like for you this year

We'll be here for you.


Tuesday, 16 November 2021, 14:04
Kuron
Yes, it will be rough as will Thanksgiving which is next Thursday. We both loved Thanksgiving. It will be the first time in my life I have ever been alone for either holiday.

And thank you Rockford.


Wednesday, 17 November 2021, 16:16
Kuron
Chaplain from the hospital called today. Once she is ready, they will actually be able to deliver Carolyn's remains to me and I will not have to go pick them up.

Slowly making progress, had to stay at the apartment today for a delivery and the bug guy who was coming to spray. They spray once a month.

Thursday I need to be at the apartment for another delivery, actually two, as I will be getting my setup kit from AT&T. If all goes well, tomorrow aka Thursday, I will be joining the real world and I will have Internet access at the apartment. Will not have to drive to the house just to use the Internet and I will not have to keep paying the phone bill for the house.

Not sure I will get to the house Thursday, or not.

So much still to do, but I am plugging away.

May run back to the apartment and get a pizza on the way. Then come back to the apartment later. Feel like I need to be doing more...


Wednesday, 17 November 2021, 17:49
rychan
Glad to hear about the steady progress Kuron
Wednesday, 17 November 2021, 20:28
Kuron
This is one of those nights I just can't stop crying.


Thursday, 18 November 2021, 17:11
Kuron
AT&T tech came out and tested the lines and put a new jack in the apartment. Then I waited all day for FedEx to bring my DSL setup kit. Go to set it up, it will not complete. Tried twice, called support. They had me try twice, same issue. Seems the modem is fucked three ways to Sunday.

So, no Internet at the apartment. Have to wait until Saturday morning before a tech can come out. Told them he either fixes it and gets me online or everything is going back and the service is canceled.

Simply cannot deal with more stress at this point with what I am going through. I would rather walk to the library and use their shitty WiFi than deal with more problems.


Thursday, 18 November 2021, 18:30
Jayenkai
Ugh. Yeah, I can imagine even the smallest of stressful situations can be a struggle, right now.
Thursday, 18 November 2021, 18:35
Kuron
Bad too that I wasted a good part of the day waiting on this nonsense when I could have been working at the house...


Thursday, 18 November 2021, 19:55
Kuron
Well, I just ordered that electric bike I posted earlier and some saddle bags.


Thursday, 18 November 2021, 21:15
Kuron
Well, woohooo!!! Thank you Jesus. Came home and plugged in the modem and reset it and it is all working fine now. 6 Mbps on speed test.

What a RELIEF!!! Best problems are ones that fix themselves!!!

*edit* then it crapped out.

*edit* Now is back again. Grrr... Craps out again I am taking the damn modem out in the parking lot and run over it with the pickup truck a few times.

Of course new problem when I get home, my order for the bike and such was cancelled. Even though I just paid $3,000 on my credit card which is actually more than the total of charges on it, and they have applied it, my available balance was not yet reflecting the payment received.


Friday, 19 November 2021, 10:25
Kuron
Okies, put $$ into my bank this morning and I just ordered the bike, saddle bag and mirrors using my Master Card debit card. Should be able to get me back and forth to the house if I need to still get out here as there are some hills, but it is only 8 miles to the house from the apartment.


Friday, 19 November 2021, 15:40
Kuron
WooHoo! This afternoon, I managed to find where my new mini grill was buried in the old house. Got about half of the canned food our of the old house and moved to the apartment. The other half which was stored in the laundry room has mouse poop and such all over the cans. Best to let those stay where they are at. All of the packages of powdered milk and packages of noodles were equally mousified. Not sure if I am being silly and over cautious?

Getting ready to leave and go back to the apartment for the night. Very tired. Lugging around four duffel bags, each with 24-36 cans of food in them is heavy and wears you out, especially when you are not 100%.

Tomorrow I hope to grab more clothes from the old house and maybe the TVs and my stuff from the bedroom over there including my Kryptonite.


Friday, 19 November 2021, 15:52
Jayenkai
Better to be safe, I recon. You never know what a mouse could've done, even if there's nothing noticeable.

I'm not sure I could even carry a single 24 case of beer, nowadays. (Used to lug them around the shop all the time. .. bit out of practice/energy/shape, now!)
Sunday, 21 November 2021, 18:34
Kuron
I ordered this for Carolyn. I will hang it on my wall.


Sunday, 21 November 2021, 23:31
Kuron
Saturday, I painted the other furniture. It looks good, started getting cool so I brought it over to the apartment so the paint could finish curing.

Went back to the house and went to the old house and got a lot of things from our old bedroom and brought over to the new house to sort.

Sunday, went back over to the old house and got more things from the old bedroom, and still need one more trip in there to get/find a few things. Missing one camera.

Both days were spent doing lots of laundry.

I have firmly decided no music gear is being brought to the apartment. I just do not have room. If I could ever get to it, I would love to have my synthesizer. But, if not. No worries.

I am trying to find and cannot find a box of books/cds I ordered a few months before we moved into the new house. May have been in the stack of stuff that got knocked over by the critters. Worst case, I Have to reorder them.

I do need to get in the one back bedroom in the old house that has all of my music gear in it, as there are a few things I want. I believe the remains from my cats from Maryland are there in a box, not to mention some jackets and some computer stuff and the new TVs!!! ALso hope to find my daughter's ring and my wedding ring.

I also need to get in the shed and find the pink camo comforter.

I still need to box up a lot of things in the new house and get brought over to the apartment including food stuffs.

At some point after I am done with the house and get rid of the truck, I need to work on the storage lockers. There, the only time limit is how long I am willing to keep paying for them. But, the one is filled with my on-music stuff from Maryland. I am hoping to find some old Christian book sets and some more of my Bible study things. Would be nice to find all of my backup CDs/DVDs and drives. Also have a few things of my grandfather's in there.

I also have a plethora of Bible study CDs and cassettes I want to find. Plus, had tons of boxes in my closet in MD, that I had no idea what was in them, that I simply packed.

Today (Sunday) I had to stop and come back to the apartment to meet with the pastor of a local Church. Will get into more detail in the future, but the day I moved in, my next door neighbor (Rebecca) invited me to go to church with her and her children (teens). This has been a really rough time for me, and I wanted to talk to the pastor. Starting next Sunday, I will be going to the Sunday evening service. Nice thing is, he comes and picks us up here at the apartment. Awesome, since I will not have a vehicle much longer. I am looking forward to it.

So, I keep plugging away and trying to live a new life that would make Carolyn proud of me and honor her and honor the six years we had together.

Oh, The Roadies, remember them? Well, I need to change their name for one thing. But, those old sweaters they had? Well, found a couple of sets of new clothes that Carolyn had got/made for them. Probably will not find their big castle, nor have room for it at the apartment anyway. Nor, will I have room for the car, van and helicopter that Carolyn bought them. All of us have to downsize.

Also found a little Pooh Bear that is incredibly special to me, because of who gave it to me.

Monday, I need to call the mortuary and see about getting Carolyn's remains.

I brought Shotgun Red over to the apartment Saturday and cleaned him up today.


Sunday, 21 November 2021, 23:49
Kuron
Oh, and some good news. Lungs are healing. I have not had to use my inhaler for two days. Tad short of breath at times, but manageable.


Tuesday, 23 November 2021, 05:48
Kuron
Monday was draining. Started tired and zero energy. But, it was productive. I pretty much got finished sorting things in the master bedroom at the old house and just need to carry them over to the new house.

In some ways, it was surreal as I was looking through things I never planned on looking a through. But, it was like Carolyn was leading/guiding me on where to look and what was found really reaffirmed that for me. Even things like a Bible case that was no longer being used and a soft-sided briefcase were things I was lead to look through. Lots of handwritten note by Carolyn, including some on "Love", including the Biblical definitions, as well as her views. Things like this are PRICELESS to me. I also found some Biblical related trinket boxes, and decorations that the verses on them really pertain to what I am dealing with and/or feeling right now. Again, priceless to me.

More to write on this, but it is very early Tuesday morning, and the Sun is up and even though it is freezing outside, I need to get a move on. I need to try and run to Walmart very quickly, too, as there are a couple of things I need and the longer I wait, the closer to Thanksgiving it gets and the more packed the store will be.

I can't decide what to do about Thanksgiving. Whether to take the day off and make a traditional meal (we had already bought all of the fixings for Thanksgiving and Christmas) or just work through the day. Thoughts?


Tuesday, 23 November 2021, 07:49
Jayenkai
That little Bird/verse sign thing you ordered the other day? .. I reckon you could probably build a nice setpiece around it, with some of Carolyn's own written notes.
That would definitely be a nice thing to have.
Tuesday, 23 November 2021, 21:52
Kuron
Little bro, that is a wonderful idea. I have been trying to save all the cards I find that she gave me, but things like what I found the other day are priceless. If it is double-sided, I will have to scan the back side, but I think I would like to put such things in some frames. And protect them/preserve them.

Not much accomplished today, did take a run to Walmart and bought a printer/scanner. Seems like a good printer and economical. Bought some paper, refill ink bottles and some locks for my bike, which should be here on Saturday. Also bought a paper shredder, some laundry detergent and stain remover. Been doing a lot more laundry than I planned.

Did get some things sorted, packed and brought to the apartment. Got an early start since I did not sleep well Monday night, and came home early and took a nap and when I got up, I have been working on unpacking some things in the apartment.

When it comes time to hook up the printer, I hope I can figure out the WiFi stuff. That is new to me, and it would be nice to use it with all three/four computers.

There were a couple of things I needed at Walmart, which they simply did not have. Will have to get them from Amazon.


Wednesday, 24 November 2021, 22:12
Kuron
Well, not a lot done today other than laundry and brought some things to the apartment and have been unpacking at the apartment.

Worked on the van today getting it running, and bought a new battery for it as the old one was dead. Put in the new battery and it started right up after sitting for 11 months.

The pickup tags expire at the end of the month, and the van's tags are good until Sept 22. Would have just swapped the tags, but the pickup is having an issue besides the oil gauge stuck at 80. It is a rear wheel drive, but the left front wheel is making a bad noise like when a CV joint is bad on a front wheel drive vehicle. Van reeks from mildew inside, but gonna have to tolerate it. Think I should be done by the end of the year for sure. And do not think the pickup will make it until then.

Should be getting my e-bike on Friday now according to the latest update. Helmet came today. At least transportation will be set for when I am done at the house.


Thursday, 25 November 2021, 10:06
Kuron
I tried to stay at the apartment and work on getting some dinner going. But, could not do it. Came over to the house and I am working.

Other than when I made bacon and eggs at the apartment soon after I started sleeping there, I have not cooked. Other than getting a sub once and a pizza twice, I have pretty much existed on peanuts and some corn chips and salsa.


Thursday, 25 November 2021, 10:31
Jayenkai
That's no good. Variety is the spice of life, and all that guff. (Says the guy practically living off noodles)

Grab some grapes, or cherry tomatoes, or something like that to snack on. Marginally healthier for you.
Thursday, 25 November 2021, 12:34
Kuron
Neighbor down the road just knocked on the door and invited me to his house for Thanksgiving Dinner.

He also gave me part of the money he owes me for the cedars he cut down. My share is $140 and he gave me $60.

Not sure if I will take him up on the offer or not, but really appreciate the gesture. Have 3-1/2 hours to decide.





Thursday, 25 November 2021, 12:42
Jayenkai
Aww, that's lovely!
Have a good night.
Happy Thanksgiving.
Thursday, 25 November 2021, 14:54
Kuron
Have too much to do, keeping on working at the house...


Thursday, 25 November 2021, 16:34
rockford
I hope you accepted the meal offer - offers like that are few and far between and help build friendships and communities.

Happy Thanksgiving
Thursday, 25 November 2021, 16:56
Kuron
No, been working at the house on sorting things. Not eaten anything either, just plugging away on what needs to be done. Besides, can't stop bawling today. Would not have been the best company.


Friday, 26 November 2021, 02:56
rockford

Friday, 26 November 2021, 08:16
Kuron
I am at the apartment (still), may or may not be getting my bike today. FedEx isn't updating it's site.

That said, I am cooking my turkey today. Just finished trimming it and putting it in the slow cooker. So, in theory I could go and work for four hours and come back if I knew FedEx wasn't coming, or I can stay here and work.

Not sure whether or not I will eat it today, but it needs to be cooked. Turkey is one of those things that is actually better reheated (IMHO). But, if I stay here then I will likely eat it tonight. If I go work at the house, then another day of not feeling like making dinner when I get home.

Yesterday was just a rough day. Would have been different if Carolyn had died in the spring or something, so I had more time to adjust. But the holidays this year are so close to her loss, that it will be rough. I fully intend to eat on actual Thanksgiving Day next year. At least I will be eating the food and not letting it go to waste.

Yesterday, I could not help thinking of our Thanksgivings together and how special they were, for us and our babies. Only one of the cats would eat real turkey, but the others we always got canned cat food in the turkey flavor for them, just for Thanksgiving and Christmas.


Friday, 26 November 2021, 15:16
Kuron
Dinner was superb. Gonna have to wait a bit for pie. Really miss the damn dishwasher. Holy crap.

Need to remember to bring my meds back from the house. If I am going to start eating, need to start taking my meds.

Nothing done today, and no bike came today. Took a day off.


Friday, 26 November 2021, 16:32
rockford
Waiting in for things/engineers to arrive is almost the worst. Waiting in for things/engineers that don't arrive IS the worst!

Glad that you had a proper Thanksgiving meal, even if it was slightly delayed.
Friday, 26 November 2021, 22:38
Kuron
I am glad, too, Rockford! It was good and know Carolyn would have wanted me to enjoy the meal. Just was too hard emotionally on the proper day this year. Have leftovers for another meal.

Well, it is not listing on FedEx that it will be delivered Saturday, BUT, it is now showing it as having arrived in Nashville, which means it should be out for delivery tomorrow (Saturday) so I will have to wait around again, even though I really need to get to the house.

Plus, Saturday UPS is delivering that plaque I ordered for Carolyn.

And Sunday evening, I have committed to going to church. Busy weekend and not much done at the house, although I guess I can do stuff Sunday in the daytime. Maybe Saturday depending on when stuff comes.

Too cold in the evening if I have to go to the old house, as no heat in there and little lighting. But, can work at the new house, BUT need sleep so I don't fall asleep in church.

*Sighs* I need help. LOL At least next week is looking to be warmer.


Saturday, 27 November 2021, 00:54
Kuron
I bought a new shirt (actually bought five of the same design, just different color shirts):



Saturday, 27 November 2021, 03:03
rockford
Nice design - I'm not sure it needs ALL that text though.

My thoughts -
> Reveal 🔎
Saturday, 27 November 2021, 19:05
Kuron
Well, Carolyn's plaque came today. Will have to wait for a pic, tired from working at the house all day. Made two trips to the apartment, first time I brought over a twin sized headboard that has shelves that I am putting in the kitchen in front of the heater since I do not use that heater. Gives me some room to put stuff. Of course, that was where I was going to put the bike.

Carolyn was definitely with me again, as I was being lead to some things and places that I would not otherwise had looked and what I found definitely had messages meant for me. Often things she had got long before I came along and was "saving" in the hope that she may find somebody and what she was saving would become relevant.

Sunday, perhaps my bike will come. Sunday evening, going to church with my neighbor and her kids. I will probably not go to the house on Sunday and just work around the apartment. So much to do. I think I am coming to the end of the clothes, though. Which is good as I am coming to the end of empty hangers and closet space to hang them.


Sunday, 28 November 2021, 11:04
rockford

Sunday, 28 November 2021, 12:18
Kuron
As we know, the life of Kuron NEVER goes as planned. FedEx woke me up at 9am this morning (keep in mind nothing was being shown as being out for delivery) and as I opened the door, they were leaving, but they had left the mirrors and saddle bags. Whether that was it for the day or they had tried to deliver the bike and just left with it, I dunno. Again, nothing shown as being out for delivery.

Then I go into the bathroom and there is water all over the floor. Water was not there when I went to bed, and I had not used the bathroom. Water is coming through the wall of the apartment next door. Evidently they clogged their toilet up and do not know how to remedy the situation. Thankfully I got it before it started seeping into the storeroom where I do have things on the floor that could get ruined.

Since the neighbors I was supposed to be going to church with flooded my bathroom, I felt I was being led to stick to my original plan when I looked at the apartment and that is go to the church that is within walking distance. Looked at the clock, not enough time to grab a shower but, got dressed and got there in plenty of time. A neighbor I had run into a time or two back in the Spring had told me about the church.

Anyway, it is an awesome church and I LOVE it and everybody was nice and welcoming. I will be going there from now on, Sunday mornings and Wednesday nights for Men's Bible Study.


Sunday, 28 November 2021, 13:51
Kuron
Mortuary called. I should be receiving Carolyn's remains tomorrow (Monday).


Sunday, 28 November 2021, 14:40
Jayenkai
*thinking of you*
Sunday, 28 November 2021, 15:16
rockford
Well, a bit of a bike is better than none at all :/

Best wishes (and fingers crossed) that everything else goes smoothly and turns up, gets fixed and sorted without further issues.
Sunday, 28 November 2021, 19:21
Kuron
Update, turns out it was not my neighbors, it is all the bottom floor apartments having the issue. Anyway, the issue is partially resolved so the floor is not flooding, but it will be fixed properly tomorrow.

Went to the church tonight with my neighbors and really enjoyed it a lot. I will definitely keep going every Sunday night. They also have a Sunday morning and Wednesday evening service, but they eat at those and I am not in a financial position to bring food to something like that.

I like the idea of belonging to two different churches and I really like both. So, everything works out. Best of both worlds.

The Sunday evening church was the church Carolyn and I were talking about going to and we met the pastor from there four years ago. Carolyn never got to make it, but her Bible did. Took it to the morning service as well.

Her wings were ready, but my heart was not. But I will carry her everywhere with me for the rest of my life.


Monday, 29 November 2021, 13:18
Kuron
Carolyn is officially home.


Monday, 29 November 2021, 13:24
Jayenkai

Monday, 29 November 2021, 15:40
Kuron
Since I did not pay for it, she is in just a plastic utilitarian container with a flip top. So, I ordered this to put her in:




Oh, and the bike came today, took a couple of hours to unpack it. Heading for an overdue nap, but later I just need to tighten the pedals, seat and handle bars and that should be it, other than charging the battery. Need to put my saddle bags on, too. First bike I ever had that came with a kickstand. Over here, that is something you usually had to buy separate. Pretty badass looking bike in person. Guess I have come full circle, as when I was a very little guy, I had a battery powered motorcycle riding toy I used to ride around.


Tuesday, 30 November 2021, 03:30
rockford
Seems like everything is all coming together nicely
Tuesday, 30 November 2021, 08:48
Kuron
Yes, and woke up this morning (Tuesday) in good spirits, and have been in fairly good spirits since Sunday evening and this week.


Tuesday, 30 November 2021, 09:14
Kuron
Bikes have changed since I was a kid. When I was a kid, my bike never had DEATH in the disclaimer:

Whenever you ride the ebike you risk severe injury or even death from loss of control, collisions and falls. Use caution and ride at your own risk.

Lawyers take the fun out of everything.


Tuesday, 30 November 2021, 09:28
Jayenkai
Crikey!
Tuesday, 30 November 2021, 09:47
rychan
That's only there because a complaint was made by some idiot. Probably along the same lines that "WARNING!!! Hot Coffee IS HOT!"
Tuesday, 30 November 2021, 09:58
steve_ancell
Bikes should have the warning: Caution: This product may cause numb bollocks.
Tuesday, 30 November 2021, 10:34
Kuron
Well, bike is together. Need air in the tires, could use the electric pump in the trunk toolbox, but it tends to over inflate or the gauge isn't quite accurate. Regular tire gauge is still at the house and do have a manual pump in the truck toolbox. But, will have to wait for air.

Waiting for a delivery then going to the house to do some work.


"WARNING!!! Hot Coffee IS HOT!"


Here the most famous case of that was McDonalds. The lady in question, the pictures from the incident were horrible and flesh was literally peeling off her privates. This is why there are laws specifying what temps foods can and can't be. In court, it was proven that McDonalds was knowingly illegally serving coffee that was way too hot to the point of being a hazzard, and lots of internal memos showed McDonalds was well aware of the problem, but chose to do nothing. It wasn't until the case was settled that McDonalds switched to new Coffee machines that worked properly.


Tuesday, 30 November 2021, 21:02
Kuron
Was waiting for delivery today. Got the bike finished, except for pumping up the tires, needed to go to the house to get the tire pressure gauge.

Went to the house, ended up bringing some things over from the old house, ventured into the back bedroom, found my Nikon action cam, and some other things I was wanting to get. Did not find my wedding ring. Really hoping to find that and my daughter's ring.

Did a bit of laundry. Need to do more. Still not found my jackets, but did find one winter vest Carolyn had bought me.

Do think I can get to the TVs in a couple of more days of moving things. It is like Christmas, as I am finding some things Carolyn bought me that I completely forgot about.

Also found something she bought me for this coming Christmas. ANd found some of my bible study tapes I have got since being here.

Need to get my others out of the storage locker and have a HUGE collection of old black Gospel albums I want to convert to MP3.

Of course I forgot the tire pressure gauge and will have to get it tomorrow.

Better spirits today for sure. Have not lost it, even when at the house today.

Also reconnected with the online radio station I was working at as a moderator when I met Carolyn and may see about doing something there once I am fully moved. Carolyn was well-loved there by those who knew her. She had been there a long time, I was the newcomer when I started working there and we met.

Between you guys, the folks there and the two churches, I am doing the best I have been since this happened and was actually smiling several times today.


Wednesday, 01 December 2021, 12:09
rychan
That's really great to hear Kuron Onwards and upwards hopefully!
Saturday, 04 December 2021, 19:30
Kuron
Well been quiet, and that usually means I am extremely depressed and keeping to myself. Yup, been down.

Carolyn's urn (its really a box) came today and at some point I need to get brave enough to transfer her remains to it. Not sure the best way to do that, as you do not want to lose even one ash and have it fall on the floor and get sucked into a vacuum cleaner, or stick to your shoe and not come off until you go to Walmart, and then a part of Carolyn has to spend an eternity trapped in Walmart.

Although I had to belly crawl over some boxes, but can get to all of the music stuff I brought from MD. Probably gonna grab a guitar or two or three. The digital piano and synth may or may not have some water damage where they are sitting.

Also grabbed both TVs and brought them home. Had forgotten the sizes. The Hitachi is a 40 inch and the Samsung is a 32 inch. Totally bitchin!!

Also found my Halloween tree. Woohoo, love that. Brought home some awesome pictures of Carolyn to hang on the wall. Also was bring led by Carolyn to things of hers she had before I came here. Again the messages on the things really touched my heart and overwhelmed me, especially the one cup. Was bawling like a baby, but glad to know she truly is with me.

Found one of my jackets, the lighter one, but need to find the heavier one. Still more to look through.

Now, here is the biggie. Only thing at the old house that is a MUST find thing for me and may not be in the house are the urns of my two cats from Maryland. DO really want to find them. One day I also need to get back in the one shed and find the camo comforter. I know it is in there and I kinda must have it.

Got the electric bills for the two house. The one was outrageous $163, but I have been using the washer and dryer way, way, more than normal.

Also found my nice Panasonic video camera, so now I really have a good assortment. Still have not found my wedding ring and may or may not find my daughter's ring. But hold out hope.

Found some more of my Bibles but missing a couple still.

Test ride on the bike was fun. More about that another day. Good bike and love it and great investment.

Also brought all of my medicine over to the apt, finally.


Tuesday, 07 December 2021, 06:03
Kuron
Pretty sure getting Covid again as I am feeling the exact same as I did when we first got it and having the same severe breathing issues. Not eligible to get vaccinated until early Jan, so not been vaxxed yet, as you have to wait 3 months from diagnosis.

Of course if I have it again, it will be another 3 months before I can get vaxxed, well, if I survive Covid this time around.

Gonna make a list of people to contact if something happens to me. Jay will be on that list.


Tuesday, 07 December 2021, 07:56
rockford
FFS.

Hopefully it's just a cold/flu and you'll be done with it quickly. Fingers crossed.
Tuesday, 07 December 2021, 20:06
Kuron
Symptoms so far included racing heart the first day, which would point to the new variant which is supposedly not as bad according to SA doctors. Survived Delta which has been the worst so far.

Think the official stats are still 99.7% survive.

I am not going to explain this comment yet, but something I may have said publicly before here (I know I have said it privately to a few people) I may have to walk back a bit. Not sure, yet. But, I am old enough to know to never say never about anything and we never know what plans God may have for our lives.


Tuesday, 07 December 2021, 20:32
Kuron

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